When I Said I Do
by Topsy
Summary: Another story about Elliot and Kathy getting a divorce. How it happens and what happens after.
1. Chapter One

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Title: The Only Thing Wrong  
Author: Topsy  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Another version of the separation between Elliot and Kathy.  
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine and that's mostly okay. I would rather BE Olivia than own her.

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December 22, 2004

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Elliot drove home from work wearily. He was so tired. Cragen had let him go home early because the case they were working on was beginning to be too much. Elliot had argued a little bit, but one look at the look of agreement on Olivia's face had him giving in. He normally wouldn't have, but today he was just so tired. He was physically tired from lack of sleep because he had been working on the case so much, and he was tired of his job. He wouldn't quit. The job was in his blood, his bones, his soul. But some days it just overwhelmed him, what they did for a living. He had no way to get it out of his head.

The particular case they were working on involved a man who was kidnapping, raping, and murdering young boys that were the same age as his son, Dickie. Normally he would go home to his wife and children to make himself feel better, but he knew that with this case he would go home and look at Dickie and just feel more worry, more heartache. But he had to go home, there was nowhere else to go. Besides, he hadn't been sent home this early for ages and he figured it would make Kathy and the kids happy. The kids weren't home from school just yet, they had about another hour or so, but Kathy had the day off today, so he could surprise her. Maybe talk her into a little comfort sex to take his mind off the job.

He half smiled at the thought and turned the car onto their street. It would probably make her happy since their sex life had been seriously lacking lately. He needed to work on fixing that. Elliot looked at their house and smiled for a moment before he realized there was a strange car in the driveway. He pulled up beside it and tilted his head curiously. He didn't recognize it, but it had New York plates, so he figured it was just a friend of Kathy's. He turned his car off and got out, looking up at the house. He smiled and felt a little bit of the day's pressure slide off of him just by being home. He walked to the front door and slid his key into the lock.

"Kathy?" he called out, noticing the living room was empty. He headed to the kitchen and put his keys on the counter. "Hey Kathy!" He shrugged out of his coat as he heard a noise above him. He looked at the ceiling and realized that she must be upstairs. He headed for the stairs and took about three steps before he froze.

Their bedroom was directly above the kitchen. Why would she be upstairs in their bedroom with a friend? His heart plummeted and he bounded up the stairs and turned the corner. He ran straight to their room and came to a skidding halt just inside the doorframe.

"What the hell?" he asked and looked at the couple standing in his room. Kathy was standing at the foot of the bed with one of the sheets from the bed wrapped around her. A man was standing behind her with his pants nearly on and his shirt in his hand. All three of them froze, staring at each other for a split second before Elliot moved forward. "You son of a bitch," he said steely and glared at the man.

"Elliot--" Kathy held out her hand so he wouldn't go past her. He looked down at her, his eyes hard and his jaw clenching together. "Don't," Kathy said.

"Don't tell me what to do," he replied and looked over her shoulder.

"Look," the guy started to talk but Elliot inched forward and shook his head. The guy visibly gulped and stopped. His gaze dropped to Elliot's fists, which were bunching and un-bunching randomly as he struggled for control. Elliot knew if his control snapped, he'd kill the guy. And he really didn't need that on top of everything else. Elliot looked back at Kathy and stared.

"I know," Elliot said quietly, "That I'm not home very often because of work. And I know that I'd never win the husband or the father of the year award, but I _never_, _ever_ would have done this to our family; to you, to the kids." He paused. "I can't believe you." He turned and started to walk out of the room. "I'm going to pick up the Kathleen, Lizzie, and Dickie from school. I need to be with my kids right now," he said and stormed out of the room and down the stairs.

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"Dad? Dad, what are you doing here?" Kathleen asked, staring at her father. He smiled and put a hand on the shoulders of Lizzie and Dickie who were standing on either side of him.

"I'm here to pick you guys up from school," he said.

"What happened?" Kathleen asked, immediately suspicious. He smiled.

"Nothing, baby, Cragen let me go home early today."

"Why?" she asked. He tried to smile at her detective antics, but his heart wasn't in it. He ushered them towards his car.

"It was just a hard case, Kathleen, and he thought I should go home. I decided to come pick you guys up and see if you wanted to go get some ice cream."

"Yeah!" Dickie and Lizzie replied in unison. Elliot smiled and ruffled Dickie's hair.

"Let's go," Elliot said and they all piled into the car, Kathleen still wary. "Kathleen, what time does Maureen have classes today?" Elliot asked. Kathleen shrugged.

"I think she just finished her last class for today, but I'm not positive," she replied. Elliot smiled and handed her his phone.

"Call her and ask her if she wants to meet us for ice cream."

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Thirty minutes later Elliot and all four of his children were sitting around a table at a local ice cream parlor, enjoying their separate cones.

"This is nice, Daddy," Maureen said and smiled as she took a lick of her cone. He smiled in return.

"Something's going on," Kathleen said suspiciously. Maureen looked at her.

"What?" she asked and whipped her head around to look at her father. She saw the sadness and the anger in his eyes. "What?" she repeated.

"Nothing, girls," Elliot tried. But now they had both caught the scent that something was wrong and he knew they wouldn't let it go. He wasn't sure how much to tell them, though. He didn't want to upset them. He didn't know where Kathy and he stood anymore.

"Dad…" Maureen trailed off and neglected her ice cream.

"You're dripping, Maur," Elliot said and handed her a napkin. She wiped at it quickly but looked back at him. He sighed. "You're your father's daughters," he muttered and then sat back in his chair.

"We can handle this, Dad, whatever it is" Maureen said. Elliot glanced at Elizabeth and Dickie who were sitting quietly but only half paying attention. They didn't quite understand.

"I know _you_ can," Elliot emphasized, raising his eyebrows at Kathleen and Maureen. They both glanced at Lizzie and Dickie then, too, and nodded.

"Ah," Maureen said quietly.

"Later," Elliot said quietly and quickly switched the topic to Dickie's gym class. Maureen sighed and sat back in her seat. She and Kathleen glanced at each other before turning their attention back to their ice cream.

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Dickie and Lizzie made a mad dash for the swing sets at the park Elliot took them to after they finished their ice cream. Kathleen and Maureen stood on either side of him, waiting for him to talk.

"So?" Maureen asked. Elliot sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes.

"I don't know what I should tell you and what I shouldn't," Elliot said. "Your mother is going to kill me," he muttered. Then he lifted his hands and pulled them around to face him. "I need to ask you girls something and Kathleen, since you're still at home, you might be better suited to answer this question, but I'll ask you both."

"What Daddy?" Kathleen asked.

"Have you noticed anything strange going on with your mother recently?" he asked. Their brows scrunched together and they glanced at each other.

"Like what?" Maureen asked. Elliot shrugged.

"I don't know, anything. A change in routine or attitude or something… especially when I'm not home." Maureen and Kathleen searched for anything and then Maureen shrugged.

"I don't know, Daddy," she said.

"Well…" Kathleen trailed off, unsure.

"What is it?" Elliot asked and both he and Maureen turned to look at her. She sighed.

"She's been taking a lot of phone calls recently," Kathleen paused. "In secret."

"What do you mean?" Maureen asked.

"Like, she'll get a phone call and then go into a different room so we can't hear her," Kathleen replied. "I've noticed it a few times, but I just figured it was you or something."

"Why did you think it was me?" Elliot asked. She paused and shrugged.

"Well, I just figured you'd be calling to say you could make it for dinner or not or something like that, and…"

"And what?" Elliot asked.

"Well, she seemed sort of… different," Kathleen said.

"How?" Elliot asked. Kathleen felt like she was under interrogation, but she figured that was just par for the course since she was a detective's daughter. Plus, she had been putting him under interrogation since he picked her up from school.

"It's like after she gets those calls she's… happy for awhile. Bubbly or something," Kathleen said quietly. Elliot sighed and his chin dropped to his chest. Maureen looked at her sister and then back at her father.

"Daddy, what's going on?" she asked. He raised his head and looked at his daughters.

"How long have you noticed this, Kathleen?" he asked quietly. She shrugged.

"I don't know… a few months, I guess." Elliot's shoulders drooped. Months. God, how had he not noticed?

"Daddy?" Kathleen asked, suddenly feeling as if she had done something wrong. He lifted his head again and forced a smile on his face but they both saw right through it.

"What's going on?" Maureen repeated.

"I probably shouldn't tell you this," he said but he shrugged. Right now he wasn't that concerned about Kathy's feelings. "But I will." He sighed. "Your mother… is seeing someone else."

Maureen's jaw dropped and Kathleen merely stared.

"What?" Maureen whispered, shocked.

"Seriously?" Kathleen asked right afterwards.

"Yes," Elliot said.

"Are you sure?" Elliot snorted.

"One hundred and twenty percent positive," Elliot replied.

"Oh my God," Maureen said and looked away. She watched her youngest siblings swinging side by side on the swings as they shouted things to each other, oblivious. Her heart ached to be that young just now. As much as Elliot was upset at Kathy, he didn't want to turn her daughters against her.

"Girls, listen to me," he said and they turned to look at him. "Your mother loves you, this has nothing to do with you." They simply stared at him. "I've been a bad husband. I work too much, I don't take care of your mother enough, I don't talk to her enough. Apparently she found that with someone else. It has nothing to do with you and I don't want you to be upset at her for this."

"How can we not be?" Maureen asked. Elliot met her stare. "Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with us directly, but it seriously affects us. She cheated on your marriage. Our parent's marriage." Elliot sighed. He reached out and laid one hand on Maureen's shoulder and the other hand on Kathleen's.

"I don't know what's going to happen with your mother and I," Elliot said quietly. "But she's not all to blame for this. I haven't been around enough, so much so that I didn't even notice this was happening. She did this because of me, so you can't place the blame on her." Maureen sighed, clearly disagreeing. Kathleen just stared at Elliot.

"What am I supposed to say to Mom now?" Kathleen asked. Elliot looked at her.

"It's up to you. She might ask you what I said and you shouldn't lie to her. But try not to place too harsh a judgment on her, okay Kathleen?" Kathleen nodded and then sighed, taking off to sit on a swing beside her brother to think about this. Maureen looked at Elliot.

"How can you be so calm about this?" she asked. He sighed and cupped her shoulders in hands. He forced a smile.

"I'm not calm, Maur, not inside," he murmured. He shrugged and knew he couldn't talk to his daughter about this. "Why don't I drop you back off at school and let you cool down. I don't think you need to talk to your mother about this right now," he said. "Just call her tonight or tomorrow and talk to her, but wait until you've settled this in your head, alright?" Maureen nodded finally.

"What are you going to do?" she asked him. He shrugged.

"I'm not sure I can go home tonight. I'll drop the kids at home and go stay with a friend."

"Who?" Maureen asked, concerned.

"I don't know. Maybe your uncle or maybe Munch or someone. I'll figure that out, don't worry. And I have my phone if anything happens, okay?" Maureen nodded and wrapped her arm around his waist.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, baby girl," he said and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

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"Benson," Olivia said into her phone around 9pm that night. She had just gotten out of the bath and was getting ready to put her pajamas on.

"Livya," she heard her name slurred on the other end. Her brows furrowed together.

"Elliot?" she asked and her heart stumbled a bit. "Elliot, what's wrong?"

"I need you to come… pick me up!" he exclaimed.

"Where are you?" she demanded. He chuckled.

"Where am I?" he asked someone in the background. She could hear some shuffling before someone else's voice came over the phone.

"Hello?"

"Who's this?" Olivia demanded.

"The bartender down at Omega's. This guy is drunk as a skunk. I told him I was going to call him a cab and he insisted that he call you instead," the guy said. Olivia sighed. What the hell was going on?

"I'll be there in twenty," she said and shut her phone. She dressed as quickly as she could and fluffed a hand through her damp hair before she left her apartment.

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Olivia walked into Omega's and scanned the room, looking for Elliot. She saw him at the end of the bar, near the back. She saw that he had his head down on the bar and she sighed and walked briskly to where he was.

"El," she said and placed a gentle hand on his back. He looked up at her and grinned goofily.

"Hey Livvy!" he exclaimed.

"You the one he called?" The bartender came over and slung a towel over his neck. She nodded.

"You the one I talked to?" The guy nodded. She nodded back at him.

"Thanks for doing that," she said and turned back to Elliot, effectively dismissing the bartender. He shrugged and walked away. "Elliot, what are you doing?"

"Having a few drinks!" he exclaimed and smacked the bar. Her brows scrunched together as she looked at him.

"Have you been here since Cragen sent you home?" she asked incredulously, thinking that he was here because of the rough case. She knew that Cragen had sent him home around one. He shook his head.

"Nope."

"Does Kathy know you're here?" she asked quietly.

"God dammit!" Elliot exclaimed fairly loudly. Olivia nearly jumped. "Another one!" Elliot said and threw his hand up in the air as he searched blindly for the bartender. "Thanks for the reminder, Liv," he slurred out and dropped his head into his arms on the bar. Olivia rubbed a hand over his back and chose not to ask.

"C'mon, Elliot, let's get you home," she said. He lifted his head and shook it adamantly.

"No, no, Livya, I'm not going home," he said firmly and dropped his head again because the sudden movement had thrown him for a loop.

"Alright, that's fine, Elliot. You're coming back to my place, okay? I've got a nice pullout couch for you to sleep on. Everything will be okay," she murmured and pulled him up off the stool. He wrapped his arm around her waist for support. She looked at the bartender.

"Is he all paid for?" she asked. The bartender nodded and waved them on. She smiled her thanks quickly and then adjusted Elliot's weight so she had better control over him.

"Livvy?" he asked, mumbling into her hair.

"Hmm?" she said as she led him outside.

"Thank you," he said. "I knew you'd come. You're the best partner… ever," he slurred. She smiled.

"Under the circumstances, I'll take that for what it is," she said and he didn't bother to reply. She doubted that he even heard her. She managed to pile him into her car and just after his butt touched the seat he started to snore. She shook her head and started the engine.

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She managed to get him upstairs and into her living room without either of them falling. She dropped him into a chair and then crouched down in front of him and patted his cheek to make him focus on her. He reached out and gripped her shoulder.

"Liv?"

"Yes?"

"You're the best." She chuckled slightly.

"I know, Elliot. Would you drink some coffee?" she asked. He shook his head.

"No. Don't wanna be sober," he muttered and leaned back. She nodded.

"Alright, but I'm going to get you some water and some aspirin, okay? It'll make you feel better in the morning," she said and stood up.

"Nothing will make me feel better," he muttered and she glanced back at him before disappearing into the kitchen area. She came back and handed him the glass of water.

"Ready?" she asked and then popped the pills into his mouth. He took a swallow and then lowered the glass. "I'm going to get some blankets," she murmured. "Stay here." Elliot watched her move around the room through half-closed eyes as she made the couch bed for him. She came back to him and pulled his coat off of him. She was standing in front of him, so he gripped her hips. She looked down at him and was shocked to see tears in his eyes.

"Liv," he murmured. She placed a gentle hand against his cheek.

"What is it, El?" she asked quietly.

"She cheated on me," he said and then buried his face into her stomach. Olivia's jaw dropped and she just stood, frozen for a moment. Oh my God, she thought.

"Oh, El," she murmured and wrapped her arms around his head. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she rocked him slowly for comfort. After a few minutes he pulled away and she could see a bit of the tears on his cheek, though he hadn't cried very much. She wiped one away gently with the backs of her fingers. "Let's get you in bed and we'll talk about it in the morning, okay?" She knew he didn't have enough of his wits left to argue with her about it. She helped him stand up and he reached for his shirt. She swallowed hard and forced herself to ignore whatever skin she saw underneath before she reached down and helped him lift his shirt over his head since he was struggling with coordination. He reached for his belt and she nearly gulped.

"El," she tried to protest, but he managed to get his belt unbuckled by himself. He fumbled with the buttons and she refused to help him there. He finally managed to unbutton and unzip himself and she saw boxers peeking out and she sighed in relief. At least he wasn't naked. He struggled to push them down and by the time they got to his knees, he was about to keel over. She sighed and bent down, moving to the side so she wasn't face to face with his package. He leaned against her shoulders when she tried to pull his feet out of his pants. She folded them quickly and placed them on the chair before she led him to the couch.

"Alright, climb in," she murmured and he did so. She smiled and felt somehow maternal to him and thought it was a strange feeling to have so soon after she had a bit of a heart trip a few seconds before because she thought she might see him naked. She tucked him in and he smiled up at her.

"Thanks Livvy," he murmured and she brushed a hand over his cheek.

"You're welcome," she replied and straightened. Within seconds he was out. She smiled and leaned over, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple before she straightened again and walked to her own bedroom.

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The next morning Elliot awoke to the aroma of coffee. He sat up, suddenly confused by his surroundings. When he did, his stomach turned and he moaned, dropping his head into his hands as he remembered all the alcohol he had consumed the night before and how Olivia had come to his rescue.

"Oh God," he muttered.

"Need some more aspirin?" Olivia asked and he groaned.

"God, yes," he said. She chuckled and walked to the kitchen. After a few moments she came back and handed him three aspirin and a mug of hot coffee. He looked up at her.

"I think I love you, Liv," he said and smiled at her. She felt her heart warm at his boyish grin and she smiled back.

"You better!" she exclaimed as he gulped down the coffee. Then she sat down beside him on the couch bed. He looked at her with an apologetic look in his eyes.

"Liv, I'm sorry you had to see me like that," he said quietly. She smiled.

"I think it was okay under the circumstances," she said and patted his hand. She forced her eyes to stay focused on his face and not creep down to look at the chest that the sheets had neglected to cover as they pooled around his waist. He sighed.

"I have no idea what happened," he murmured and glanced off into space. "I told Maureen I was fine."

"Elliot, I think that's perfectly understandable." She paused. "Maybe you should call Cragen and ask for the day off," she said. He looked at her. "Just to get over your hangover and to, ya know, sort things out." Elliot shook his head adamantly.

"No, Olivia, it's bad enough. I might have a raging headache, but I can't stand to just sit around and dwell on it. I need to go in to work."

"Cragen sent you home early yesterday, I think he'd understand if you wanted today off, too," she said. Elliot shook his head.

"No, Liv, I can't take the day off."

"It's too much all at once, El," she said, trying to argue her point. He sighed and dropped his head into his hands wearily.

"Maybe," he said. "But I can't run away from both. Plus, Kathy has to work today, so I'd just be sitting around by myself thinking too much. At least when I'm at work I can focus on the problems there because they'll be there to focus on." Olivia sighed and nodded.

"Alright," she said.

"I need to get home to shower and change," Elliot said.

"You can shower here," she said. He shook his head.

"I would, but I have to get clean clothes, so I may as well just go," he replied and pushed back the covers. She stood up and nodded.

"Okay," she said. "El?" He looked at her.

"Promise me that we can talk about this later." He stared at her for a moment and then nodded.

"If we're not busy, we can go somewhere for lunch," he replied. She smiled quickly and nodded.

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	2. Chapter Two

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Title: The Only Thing Wrong  
Author: Topsy  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Another version of the separation between Elliot and Kathy.  
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine and that's mostly okay. I would rather BE Olivia than own her.

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December 22, 2004

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"How'd it go this morning?" Olivia asked as the two of them got into the car to head to lunch. He sighed and sat back.

"Kathleen was all concerned," he said and smiled slightly. "I love those kids, Liv," he murmured. She nodded.

"I know."

"Anyway, I got in the shower and when I got out, Kathy tried to talk about it, but I told her I was late. She wants to talk to me about this privately, but the kids are always around and I don't necessarily want to go anywhere with her alone right now," he muttered. Then he shrugged. "But I guess we do have to talk about it sometime. She said she'd arrange for Maureen to pick up the kids tonight to get them out of the house so we could sit down and discuss this." He sighed. "God, I just… I can't believe her."

"What happened, Elliot?" Olivia asked and glanced at him quickly as she drove along.

"Hell if I know," he said. "I had no clue."

"How'd you figure it out?"

"You think it would be something smart, right?" he asked. She didn't answer. "Cragen sent me home early. The kids were still at school. And they were upstairs in our bed. Our bed, Olivia." He sighed and stared out the window.

"Oh God, El," she murmured.

"I talked to Kathleen and Maureen and asked them if they had noticed anything weird lately. Kathleen said that she's been noticing these secret phone calls for the past couple months and that Kathy would be all happy after the phone calls."

"Jesus, El, months?" Olivia asked. He nodded.

"That's the thing, Liv. If it had just happened once, maybe I could… Maybe we could work this out. Go to counseling or something. But this is a full blown relationship she was having off to the side." He paused. "God, I feel like such an idiot! You'd think I would have noticed. I'm a detective for God sake. They were sleeping in our bed! You'd think I would have smelled something… or even just _felt_ something. I had no clue, Olivia." He leaned his head back against the seat wearily. "And I don't think I can fix this. I don't want to fix this, not if this has been going on for months. There's a big difference between a one-night stand and a boyfriend in this situation. A one-night stand would have been bad enough to deal with." He rubbed his hand over his eye as Olivia pulled into a parking spot. She shut the engine off and turned to look at him.

"What are you going to do?" she asked quietly. He shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess I'll go over tonight and talk to her," he replied. She nodded and began to get out of the car. He followed suit.

"Anytime you need to, I've got a permanent place for you on my couch," she said. He smiled at her over the car.

"Thanks, Liv, I'll remember that. Tonight I should probably stay at home, even if that means I'm sleeping on the couch." He sighed. "Thank you. For everything." She smiled.

"Anytime."

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Elliot walked into the quiet house around 8pm. He felt so nauseous. He wasn't ready to have this conversation yet, because he knew what was going to be said. There was no way they could be together anymore and even though he had known that since he had walked into the bedroom yesterday, he didn't want to actually come out and say it. He didn't want to make it final. It was the end of a life and the beginning of another and he wasn't sure he was ready for that new life.

After all, they had been married since they were still pretty much kids. Maureen was the best accident of his life so he would never regret it. But twenty years was a long time to be with someone, only to find out you weren't actually meant for each other. Twenty years was a lot to get over. He didn't know how to be alone.

"Kathy?" he called out as he tossed his keys on the stand beside the couch.

"In here," she replied from the kitchen. He shrugged out of his coat and held it for a moment as if it was a lifeline. Then he tossed it over the back of the couch and walked into the kitchen to find her.

She was pouring them each a glass of water and Elliot nearly felt his heart warm when he saw that her hand was shaking slightly. He sighed and rubbed his hand over his eyes. So this is it, he thought and took a seat at the kitchen table. She turned around and placed the glasses on the table before putting the pitcher back into the refrigerator. She took a seat across from him and they sat in uncomfortable silence for a few seconds. Elliot refused to speak first.

"El, I'm sorry," she said softly. He watched her face, but she was looking at her fingers as she nervously played with her glass of whatever.

"How long have you been… seeing him?" Elliot said, choosing the words carefully. He didn't want to start a fight this early into it. Kathy sighed and looked up at Elliot.

"I never meant for it to happen. I wasn't planning on… on him," she said.

"How long, Kathy?" She frowned a little and looked away.

"Two and a half months or so," she murmured. Elliot closed his eyes and let out a whoosh of breath.

"Kathleen was right," he said quietly. Kathy's head snapped up.

"What?"

"Kathleen noticed your secret phone calls," Elliot said and looked up. A blush crept over Kathy's face and she took a gulp of her water to steady herself. "If you weren't planning on it, how did it happen?" Kathy shrugged.

"He's a banker," she said softly. "I saw him at the bank every time I took my paycheck in and one day we got to talking." She looked up at Elliot. "After a few more chats over deposit slips he asked me out," she said simply.

"And you said yes?" Elliot asked and raised his eyebrows. "Even though you were married?" Kathy sighed and looked away.

"Yes, I did." She lifted her shoulders. "The night before that you hadn't come home until two in the morning and I was still pissed at you for not calling."

"So it's all my fault now?" he asked angrily. She shook her head.

"No. But I was upset and so I said yes. I felt so horrible about it that I actually called him and told him I couldn't go. He asked me why and I told him because I was married." She paused. "That's when he asked me if I was happy." Elliot and Kathy stared at each other as she paused once again. "I said… no," she said. Elliot's eyes closed and he felt the fight seeping out of him. He was exhausted. "He convinced me to go out with him, just to talk." Elliot snorted softly and opened his eyes.

"So I did, for lunch one day during our breaks. And it was nice," she said and tried not to smile at the memory. "He was a gentlemen and he said he understood my situation because he had gotten divorced two years ago. He wasn't pressuring me into anything, he just wanted to be friends." Kathy paused. "Elliot," she said and met his gaze. "He made me feel important. He listened to me when I talked to him and I listened when he talked to me. He _talked_ to me, Elliot, in a way that you didn't anymore."

"Kathy," he said, but she held up a hand and cut him off.

"No, listen to me for once," she said. Elliot's mouth closed and she continued on. "I wasn't looking for my relationship with him to go any further than friendship. We went to lunch together every day that our schedules would allow it and we talked and laughed. Two weeks after the first lunch, he kissed me." She shrugged.

"I didn't know he was going to do it. I wasn't planning it. It was just… the moment," she paused. "But I kissed him back and it felt right." She ran her hands through her hair. "I went home and cried for thirty minutes because I felt so guilty. I felt guilty because it had happened, because I was sneaking around, but most of all because I liked it."

"So why didn't you just tell me? Why did you have to sneak around behind my back?" Elliot asked as he stared at her. She shrugged.

"I was too… scared to tell you," she said. "I… I don't know."

"Kathy, I know that I was a shitty husband because of my job. The hours suck. They're random and make me stay out late. The job itself is rough and I hated bringing that here, back to our home. I didn't want to tell you or the kids about it, because I didn't want to bring it here. But I was never unfaithful to you," he said and stared at her.

"Honestly?" she asked, copping an attitude. His mouth dropped open and his eyes hardened.

"Not once."

"Hmm," she murmured.

"What?" he asked, nearly growling the question out.

"Are you sure you never strayed… with Olivia?" she asked. His mouth dropped open again.

"Are you serious?" he asked. She lifted her chin defiantly. He smacked his hands down on the tabletop and pushed himself up away from the table.

"Well?" she asked. He whirled around and looked down at her, anger swirling in his liquid blue eyes.

"Not once," he murmured angrily. "Not once did I ever touch Olivia in an inappropriate manner. I never cheated on you with her in any way, or with anyone else for that matter. So do not try to throw this back in my face. I may have been to blame for not being around, for not communicating, but I wasn't the one that pushed you into _our _bed with that bastard, so please… spare me!" he exclaimed and turned around quickly and walked away. He couldn't be in there right now. He grabbed his coat and pushed through the front door. He dropped down onto the front steps and sighed loudly. He dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his fingers over his face roughly.

A few minutes later he heard the door opening behind him.

"We have to finish talking about this while the kids are out," she said softly, smartly. He sighed and scooted over.

"Fine," he muttered. She dropped down beside him and wrapped her arms around herself tightly.

"Elliot, I really am sorry," she said. "I never meant for it to happen. I just…"

"Do you love him?" he asked her quietly. She sighed and he looked over at her. She nodded slightly and smiled sadly.

"Yes, yes I do," she murmured. Elliot nodded and looked down at the ground.

"Well then," he paused, "What are we going to do?" he asked quietly. She reached for his hand and he let her hold it. They looked at each other and both of them smiled sadly because they knew what they had to do. "I wonder when all of this happened," he said quietly. She shrugged.

"I don't think we can pinpoint it to an exact time," she murmured. He nodded.

"We just grew apart," he said softly.

"I wonder if it started with Maureen," she asked quietly. He glanced over at her. She lifted her shoulders. "I loved you with all my heart and soul back then, but we were just kids. Even though she was an accident, we did what we wanted to do at the time." Kathy paused. "Sometimes I wonder, though, if it was too soon." Elliot nodded. "I wonder if we had waited another year and she hadn't come along if we still would have been in love and gotten married."

"At the time we thought we wanted to be married, but we were so young and we had no clue," Elliot said. Kathy squeezed his hand. He looked over at her.

"I do love you, Elliot," she murmured as tears filled her eyes. "I always have and I always will." He smiled sadly and nodded. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him.

"I love you, too, Kathy."

----o----o----o----o----o----o----o----

"Guys, sit down," Elliot said quietly to all four of his kids. They all sat down obediently on the couch beside each other, crammed in. They knew something was up. Elliot and Kathy sat on the coffee table in front of them.

Maureen and Kathleen already knew what was about to be said and they gripped each other's hands tightly. Elliot saw and he sighed.

"What?" Dickie asked, staring at his parents.

"We need to tell you guys something," Kathy said quietly. They all stared at their parents and Kathleen held her breath.

"Your mom and I have decided… we're going to get a divorce," Elliot said. Dickie's eyes bugged out of his head and Lizzie's mouth dropped open.

"What?" she asked, shocked. "Why?" Elliot sighed. Maureen wrapped her arm around Kathleen's waist as tears began to slide down their cheeks. They leaned their heads together and just listened. Elliot let Kathy field this question, because technically it had all started with her.

"I…" Kathy paused and sighed. She rubbed her fingers over her eyes and then looked at Lizzie and Dickie. "I have a boyfriend," she said simply.

"What?" Dickie asked and stared. Kathy sighed.

"Don't you love Daddy?" Lizzie asked, her chin quivering. Kathy sighed and reached her hand out to her youngest daughter. She touched her knee softly.

"Yes, I do, but not the way I should."

"Why not?" Dickie asked. Kathy shrugged and Elliot patted her knee for comfort, despite the situation.

"I love him for giving me you guys. I love him for the past twenty years of life we've shared together, but it's not the same… anymore," Kathy said.

"It's hard to explain," Elliot said when Kathy stopped. "But your mother and I… We're still friends. We're going to split your guys' time up between us, so you'll still see us all the time. You'll probably live with your mom most of the time because of your schooling and my job, but you can come and see me whenever you want and I'll come see you as much as I can."

"Why?" Lizzie moaned through her tears and Elliot sighed. He reached for her and she slid into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I like the way we are," she said. Elliot nuzzled her hair and stroked her back.

"I know you do, baby, but things can't always be the same forever. Sometimes things just don't work out." Maureen stood abruptly and left the room. Elliot watched her go and then turned to Kathy. She nodded quickly and then stood, following Maureen into the kitchen.

"You okay?" Elliot asked Kathleen and Dickie. Dickie scooted over to his sister and she wrapped her arm around him as he snuggled in.

"Yeah," Kathleen whispered and wiped at her wet face. Elliot sighed and moved over to the couch beside Dickie, still holding Lizzie in his lap. "I'm sorry, Daddy," Kathleen whispered.

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong," he said. "Any of you, okay?" he asked and Dickie and Lizzie nodded.

"For her, I mean," Kathleen said. "I should have noticed and told you or something. I should have stopped her." Elliot smiled and wrapped his arm around Kathleen and Dickie. They snuggled in.

"There's nothing you could have done, Kathleen."

"I know, but I'm sorry she did this, Daddy." He sighed and ran his hand over her hair.

"Baby, it wasn't all her. It was both of us. Don't blame this on your mother, okay?" he asked. She sighed and nodded, wiping her nose with her hand as she sniffled.

"I can't believe you did this!" Maureen exclaimed, bursting out of the kitchen with Kathy close on her heels.

"Maureen!" Kathy shouted as Maureen flung the front door open and stalked out, slamming it closed behind her.

"Kathy," Elliot said from his spot on the couch. She stopped and turned to him.

"Let me go talk to her," he said. Kathy sighed and nodded, walking back to the couch. Elliot could see the tears floating in her eyes and he passed Lizzie off to her before heading outside to follow his daughter. She was standing in the front yard with her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

"Maureen," Elliot called softly. She didn't turn around. He came up behind her and rubbed his hands over her arms. "It's freezing out here," he murmured. She turned around quickly and wrapped her arms around his waist tightly.

"Oh Daddy," she muttered into his chest. He hugged her and stroked his hand over her hair and down her back.

"It's okay, baby girl." She shuddered.

"I understand, ya know?" she asked and pulled back to look up at him with tear-stained cheeks. "I know these things happen. I even understand that you and Mom fell out of love with each other." She sighed. "It happens. I don't have to like that, but it happens." She paused. "But the part that I hate, that I can't accept, is the fact that she cheated on you."

"Maureen," Elliot brushed a finger over her cheek. "These things happen. She didn't plan on it, it just happened."

"She could have stopped it. Dad, can I be honest?" she asked. He nodded, watching her. "I don't know why, but… I never expected her to cheat on you." Maureen paused. "I always thought that… if… if one of you cheated on each other that you would be the one to do it," she said. Elliot looked at her in surprise.

"Why?" Maureen sighed.

"Your job, I guess."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Look… I don't know the details of the things you see every day, Daddy, but I know… I know the general idea and I know what those things do to you some days. Some nights you'd come home and look so… so sad. Haunted," she murmured and let out a sniffle. "And I always just thought that… if it were to happen it would be because you had to turn to somebody." She paused. "Like Olivia." Elliot groaned and pulled away.

"What is it with you and your mother and thinking about me and Olivia?" He ran a hand over his shortly cropped hair.

"Listen, Daddy," she said and he looked at her. "I love Olivia. She's been like an aunt to me ever since you were partners. And look at her." Maureen paused. "She's gorgeous. She's single. And she sees the same things that you do every day. You can't talk to Mom or us about work, but she's there and you can share that part of your life with her. And that's a big part of who you are."

"I never cheated on your mother with anyone, much less Olivia," Elliot said, frustrated. Maureen smiled.

"I know, Daddy, but it wouldn't have surprised me. But I still would've been this pissed at you if it had been you instead of Mom," she said. He cupped her shoulders in his hands.

"Maureen, you can't be mad at her about this forever." Maureen sighed.

"I know, but… Can't I be for just a little while?" she asked and looked at him. "Aren't you?" Elliot nodded a bit.

"Yeah, yeah I am. It hurt me, Maureen, but… I accept my share of the blame and I wish things could have been different. I wish she had told me _before _she started something with him. I wish that we could have just fallen out of love and that there didn't have to be a third party involved. I wish I had figured it out differently than I did, but I can't go back and change things," he said quietly. "It happened how it happened and there's nothing to do now but move on. Get on with life. The future." He shrugged. "Who knows, maybe this will make all of us happier." Maureen smiled sadly.

"Nice try, Daddy, but… I don't think that any of us kids are going to accept the new man any time soon," she muttered. "Maybe if she had started dating him after this happened, but since he's the one that helped break our family apart, it's not going to be easy for us to accept." Elliot hugged his daughter to his chest and felt his heart swell with love for her. He had to adore her for being so loyal to him.

"I should be the big man and tell you to just accept it, but," Elliot paused, "Give him a hard time for me, too, would ya?" Maureen laughed and he pulled back and smiled at her. He kissed her forehead.

"I love you, Maureen." She grinned.

"I love you, too, Daddy."

"Let's go back inside. Try not to be too hard on your mother. This is rough for her, too." Maureen sighed and nodded and walked with Elliot back towards the house.

----o----o----o----o----o----o----o----


End file.
